By Eric on July 23, 2012 6

Advice for Engaged Couples

Question from Ivy: I’m recently engaged. Eeeek! I was wondering if you have any advice for those about-to-be-newlyweds and what planning we can do not for the wedding, but for our marriage itself (finances, etc.).

We get really excited when young couples ask us questions like this. Not because we did it the right way, but rather quite the opposite. We were not thinking long-term when we were engaged, and certainly not asking for advice from those who have gone before us.

Looking back, I think we were living in a fantasy world. One in which love would conquer all and where love was all we needed. Maybe love is all we needed, but we didn’t really understand that love requires work. Thankfully we discovered quickly after we got married that it would require work and recommitted ourselves to a lifetime of working on improving our marriage.

After taking a marriage class at our church, we were looking for another program to help strengthen our marriage. That’s when we heard about Financial Peace University. This would be my single piece of advice for any recently engaged couple.

Take Financial Peace University, apply it to your life, never look back.

It certainly changed our outlook on finances, but it also helped us learn how to communicate with one another and how to work through difficult situations while staying level-headed.

Dave has recently revamped the FPU program. You can find a class close to you. The best part is that when you pay for the class, you pay for a lifetime membership. You can retake the class at anytime. So, as you progress toward financial peace, you can retake the class for motivation and focus. We’ve taken it twice already.

Another piece of financial advice I would offer is something that we have written about before: personal spending. When it comes to checking accounts, Kelsey and I have three. One for our bills, and a personal account for each of us. You can read the details in the post, but the idea is that we give ourselves a small allowance and we can spend it on whatever we want; no questions asked.

It would also serve you well to read about all the stupid tax that we have paid in the last five years and NOT do any of the following:

  1. Go crazy on the honeymoon.
  2. Buy a house you can’t afford.
  3. Get a car loan.

Also, check out Kelsey’s post: Are You Ready for Marriage?

What advice do you have for the engaged couple?

 

Eric

Husband to Kelsey. Father to Rooney. Follower of Jesus. Born and raised in Iowa. I like blogging. Bulleted lists excite me. Thanks for stopping by.

  1. Love this post! I am 23 and I am getting married in September so this was a great read.

  2. This was a great read. I am 20 years old and got engaged in February.
    My fiance and I sat down (very) soon after and made a plan for when we wanted to get married, and what that meant for us. We chose to have a long engagement (18 months) so that we could better prepare ourselves financially, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. For us, this has been such a blessing.
    We have been able to share with eachother so many concerns and make a game plan for how to handle them before our marriage.

    Thank you guys for sharing!

  3. I can’t remember where we got the idea from, but my hubby and I each made a list of what our mom did, what our dad did, and what we expected ourselves and each other to do in day to day married life. This was everything from chores, to spending, to budgeting, to parenting, and anything else we could think of. It helped us identify and sync expectations. The bonus for me was that my father-in-law did a lot of cooking and cleaning, so my husband thought that was his job too! I have never once argued with that plan!

    • What a great idea! I always think that in relationships, if you aren’t being told to do something, but come up with it yourself, it’s easier to stick to it!

  4. My husband and I talked a LOT about expectations while we were engaged. It was helpful to be honest about what I expected (especially in terms of the honeymoon/sex, money, and roles in marriage) and to hear what he expected. Then we seriously prayed that God would help us to hold our expectations loosely as we learned to love each other better.

  5. I would advise any engaged couple to talk to a counselor about premarital counseling, either though a church or a therapist. A professional really helped us walk through all those tough that questions we, as a madly-in-love couple, didn’t really want to think about. It helped us get on the same page about our expectations, fears, hopes and dreams. Open, honest communication is key in a marriage and it was a blessing for us to get our married life off on the right foot by talking about all the tough stuff (money, kids, in-laws, family, career, household duties, etc).

Leave a Reply

*
*

Text formatting is available via select .

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>