The touchy topic of submission has been on my mind since we went to the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage getaway. There was a session where the men and women split up to learn more about what God has called us to in our gender roles. And then a couple days after the conference I received this devotional from Proverbs 31 and a few more things clicked for me. This may not be a popular post. If I say something that offends you, please know that is not my intention and hear my heart.

I grew up during the girl power movement. I loved it. I have always loved being a girl, and also that I grew up in a time period in which I knew that being a girl did not mean I was less valuable than a man. I always wanted to meet and fall in love with a wonderful man, but I planned to wear the pants in the relationship (a recent study shows that most women do!).

For years I’d read in the Bible about the S word, but I had no idea what it meant to submit. Nor did I want to find out. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

But after five years of marriage, studying the Bible and consulting with other Christian women about what it means, I’ve changed my point of view on the matter. And I am choosing to embrace it.

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Yesterday Kelsey shared her thoughts and takeaways from our weekend to remember. Today, it’s my turn to share.

To be honest, I think I am the opposite of most men. I think most men would turn and run at the sound of having to spend a whole weekend working on their marriage. But as I’ve said before, I love to learn and when Kelsey and I have the opportunity to learn together, it’s one of the greatest things that we do as a couple. I so looked forward to strengthening our marriage and re-enforcing the foundation that we have been slowly building over the past five years. Especially now that baby W is on her way, we knew this was the perfect time for a marriage tune-up.

From my perspective, the retreat was spectacular. The material is well developed and the speakers bring life to the content by sharing their amazing stories of their struggles and how they have overcome them. Here are my thoughts from the weekend.

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This weekend Eric and I attended the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage getaway in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. We signed up for the conference earlier this year and I am so glad we made the investment. It was amazing to get out of our city, stay in a hotel and focus on our marriage for two days.

There were 10 sessions total with built-in in time to go through projects with your spouse, and also a date night. The speakers were awesome and reinforced for us a lot of things we’ve learned since committing to our marriage as the most important earthly relationship. Our marriage was healthy before, but it was really strengthened over the weekend and I am rejuvenated to love and respect my husband.

Some of my takeaways:

• Don’t try to win at arguments. Because if there’s a winner, there’s also a loser.
• An affair is anything that gets in the way of the marriage being the priority relationship (children, busyness, materialism, careers, etc.)
• I think my selfishness is the No. 1 threat to our marriage.

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Hi, friends! Thanks for all the great questions and response to our Ask Us Anything post a couple weeks ago. We’ve divided the questions into four categories and will be doing a series of short videos this month to answer them! The first video is all about marriage.

In the video, we answer these two questions:

1. I was wondering if you and Eric did any books before marriage or have done any marriage-focused books since being married?
2. I’d love to know the things that you wish you had known in the beginning of your marriage. Not regrets, by any means, but things you wish you could go back and tell yourself to be ready for or to expect.

If you can’t see the video, click here.

The two books we recommend are:

• “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman (there is also “The Five Love Languages of Children” that I really want to read)
• “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs