By Kelsey on July 11, 2012 24

When I Have a Baby, I Will Never…

I think most people have a list of things they swear they’ll never do when they have kids.

Until they have kids.

At least, that’s how it was for us.

What We Said We’d Never Do

  • Bring her with us to worship. Before Rooney was born, we wanted to know the earliest age she could go to the nursery because we were NOT going to bother ourselves or others with soothing or rocking or feeding her during church. Then she was born. This little, fragile baby girl. We went to church three times with her and each time, we brought her in with us. And each time, one (or both) of us was distracted the entire time. So we watched church online a few times–but it’s just not the same. Finally, about a month ago, we bit the bullet and brought her to the nursery. (It has been a great experience!)
  • Use a pacifier clip. But in the van I nearly break my back reaching back to her to give her the pacifier, so we finally clipped it on to her car seat straps for easy access.
  • Be quiet when she sleeps. Because kids need to learn how to sleep through everything, right? Well, sometimes you just can’t chance that they’ll wake up, so you turn the TV down and shut your mouth.
  • Put a bib on her when she’s not eating. We’re running out of burp cloths over here, and it’s really just easier to have it attached to her.

I found that when push comes to shove, you will do just about anything that gets you through the day.

Still hoping we never do: put her on a leash. (So you can all laugh when that happens.)


What did you say you’d never do when you had kids? Drive a minivan? Co-sleep? Dress them in Crocs? Use a wipe warmer? Let them throw a fit on the floor in Target?



I love my husband, my kids and the Internet.

  1. Great post! I HATE this about myself but naturally, I tend to be a judgmental person. I find, it’s especially easy to judge those of whose shoes you’ve never walked….like how other people parent….before you have kids.

    Thankfully, I’m a reflective person and am REALLY working on my judgement of others. I think this post is a great reminder that we really can never judge another parent until we’ve “been there”.

    Cute picture of you and Rooney, by the way. She’s precious and you look great!

    Happy Hump Day!


  2. This made me laugh! I said the same thing about ‘leashes’ and then we went to the NC Zoo in Asheboro. We decided that our oldest could definitely walk with us at that point, but we obviously didn’t want him to get lost in the crowd. We used one of those monkey backpack ‘leashes’ and he loved it. That’s pretty much the only time we’ve used it, though.

    • rebecca – this made me laugh. i have heard so many people hate on the “leashes” and really judge other parents for using them. although my sis has never used one on my nephew, after being around him and how distracted and energetic he can be, i would totally put one on him at a place like the zoo! they are in disney world today and i thought about buying one for my sis before they left :)

  3. I said I’d never drive a minivan! Even up until the end of my pregnancy, and then bam! I had my daugher and realized the first time I lifted that carseat into a car while holding the door open that they make sliding doors for a reason! Still, I was too proud. When my daughter was 2 1/2 months old, my mother in law offered to let me borrow her minivan for an 8 hour roadtrip I was taking with my baby (and dog. Crazy, right?), and I thought, why not, the extra room will be great! (Pack n play, bouncy chair, giant diaper bag, etc etc). Needless to say, that was when I fell head over heels in romantic love. After the trip, she graciously offered to switch cars with me (how often does that happen?), and I couldn’t pass it up. The convenience is ridiculous! It definitely took some pride-swallowing, but it is totally worth it! Best invention ever! Now the only thing I swear to is that I will never cut my hair short because of kids!

  4. This made me laugh too because I just said to my husband the other day, “promise me we will never put our child in Crocs.” Now that I’m pregnant and getting all the unsolicited advise and a judgement over something silly like a book I am reading, I am much more mindful of keeping my own judgement of others in check.

    I really do hope that we aren’t the people with kids disturbing everyone in restaurants because that is our biggest pet peeve when we’re trying to enjoy a nice meal. Although we joke that our judgment over this is creating bad karma that is going to come back and bite us!

  5. For me (I don’t have kids), it’s that I will never make my children my only topic of conversation, especially when in the company of those who don’t have kids. I think it’s sweet if you show me the video of that cute thing your child did, but I don’t need a play by play every day.

    I’ve also said no the the minivan things, but, like the previous commenter said, I have a feeling they “invented it for a reason.” (and that reason is not cool-ness) :)

  6. i am a big fan of never saying never! i have heard people say, “i would never take my baby in the store with just a diaper and shirt on.” low and behold they poop all over the place leaving day care and there is nothing in the house to eat. i know it will come back to bite me.

    as for the bib thing. i wont say ill never leave a bib on all the time because i know its practicle but i know i dont want to. when i was registering i found these AWESOME things called dribble bibs. its like they are wearing a cute bandana or something. they look sooooo much better than a bib that says “daddy’s little girl.” the think is you cant really find them at target. you can buy some on etsy and i found a free pattern so im going to see if i can make some for mister before he comes.

  7. I said I would never have big, loud toys…now her favorite thing is the jumperoo and her piano. Both big, both loud. As someone said to me the other day “I was the best parent before I had kids!”

  8. Great post, made me laugh. I had so many: no sweatpants, no linsenced toys or cloths, candy only on the holidays, no family matching (it’s too cute to resist though), no crocs, only natural wood toys, etc. I’ve broken pretty much all of them. I think one the first things parenthood teaches us is flexibility.

  9. Oh yes we have definitely said we would never do certain things that we ended up doing once Luna arrived! We said we would never give her a pacifier. She had one in her mouth on day two. But she must have heard us talking and actually refuses a pacifier anyway. Hmm. I said I would never wear a boring mom uniform and would still dress cute. I might be able to stick to this in the future but right now with nursing day and night and pants still not fitting… It’s nursing tanks and leggings day and night!! Agh!!
    We also said no way to a minivan but I’m sure we can only hold out so long. They’re just so much easier to hold all the kids junk!!

  10. Great post! Parenting is all about being flexible. We’ve actually talked about getting “leashes” but we never did. I swore (years and year ago) that I would never drive a minivan. We bought one 3 months before the girls were even born. That’s just the first of many things we said we’d never do!

  11. I talk to my husband about this all the time and I’m pretty proud of myself (typically a proud person in the negative connotation)for owning up to my “we will nevers.” Co-sleep and binkies. Swore we’d never go there. Well…Henry can soothe himself to sleep SO quickly with a binky and mom gets WAY more sleep with him in bed and easy to nurse. I’ve also said no minivan, but they are looking cooler by the day. :)

  12. Minivan? check. Crocs? done it (although this year I bought my boys Native shoes, same concept but way less dorky). Co-sleeping? big fan.

    I think the “I will never..” is just one more way that having kids humbles you :)

  13. Isn’t it funny how we think we know what we’re going to do BEFORE we have any parenting experience?! I was totally the same way, especially about minivans and leashes, both of which I use. I could not take the girls anywhere by myself without their backpack leashes; they are both so active and curious, and a little too brave for their own good! My sis in law was at an aquarium and had her son on a leash the other day, and a 5 year old stranger tapped her on the shoulder and said, “why are you treating him like a DOG?” Funny…but does kinda makes you feel bad!

  14. I have a daughter who just turned 4 months, so close to Rooney’s age, and I totally understand about being quiet when she sleeps. The thing is, I don’t intentionally try and be quiet, but she’s our only child and so, especially during the day when my husband is at work, it just is quiet in our house. So when we have company over or we go to someone else’s house, I’m always hoping people will be quiet when she sleeps, simply because that’s what she’s gotten used to. I imagine once you have subsequent children, they’re probably better at sleeping with noise because they have older siblings making noise. Anyway…I totally understand! :)

  15. Hah. That’s funny about the bibs. I never heard of anyone not wanting to do that. When Liam was teething really badly (and drooling a LOT) he wore bibs 24/7. Now his drooling isn’t so bad so he hasn’t worn a bib in a while.
    Can’t really think of anything I said I’d never do. My motto has always been “do what you need to do to survive.” Haha.

  16. Such a relevant post for me! Baby Olivia is one month old, and I’m only now discovering that I even had prejudices when it came to parenting. Time to swallow my pride and bite my tongue before my words bite me in the bum!

    The only real “I’ll never” I have that I can think of at this exact moment is “I’ll never allow my house to be over run with ugly, noisy plastic toys” — I’m sure I’ll be rescinding this comment in a few short months :).

    • nice! we’re also still hoping to not let her plastic toys overtake our living room. we know it will be hard, though, especially because that is where we hang out and are we really going to drag them back into her room each night? time will tell! :)

  17. We don’t have any kids, but I always say he/she will be on a leash! Haha! I was when I was little, I was always running off and thought it was funny to hide from my parents. I honestly don’t see anything wrong with it, especially in large, crowded places.

  18. My “I never”
    1. No leashes. I think once the State Fair comes around I will be breaking that one.
    2. Co-sleeping – did that with Tyler only a few early mornings. I was desperate. Never did with Asher.
    3. Crocs – best invention ever for kids. Seriously. I specifically remember a trip where as soon as we got in the car Tyler would take his shoes off and then back on and then off. Crocs saved us! Life saver for sure.
    4. Cloth diapers – yep both boys are in them.

    Love this post! I’ve let Tyler throw multiple fits in Target – you can definitely tell those people that are parents because they just smile and say, “I’ve been there.”

    Oh – and good luck with not letting your house get run over by toys. It will happen. :)

  19. baaa haaa, i was going to say “put him/her on a leash” and then you had it at the bottom!

    i’m not opposed to it, we just dont have one but have wished we did! once when brady was two, he ran ALL THE WAY ACROSS MENARDS while i had to abandon my two carts full of stuff to catch him – the stinker is FAST! he also got lost in wal-mart for about five horrible minutes one time. i know some people are vehemently opposed to the “leash” but I say better safe (and sane!) than sorry :)

  20. I told myslef that I wouldn’t let being a mom change my dedication to my career and that I didn’t want special treatment as a parent. And now that my daughter is here I feel like I need exceptions at work! My daughter comes first and I just can’t justify working late or coming in early and miss that time with her. I really wanted to be great at my job and great at being a mom and I am finding it tougher than I thought – I just can’t be two places at once. More often than not, I choose to be at home with my baby, and I can tell that it’s impacting my career negatively.

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