By Kelsey on August 31, 2012 9

My Thoughts on The Vow

Have you seen The Vow yet? (If not, we got it free from Redbox (using these free Redbox coupon codes). Watch it this weekend!)

Eric and I both really liked it. I think watching it after recently having a baby made me see it in a unique way.

The premise of the story is (I won’t give anything away that you can’t see in the trailer): A young married couple gets into a car accident, and the wife goes into a coma. When she wakes up, she has no clue who her husband is or why she married him. She doesn’t even know who she is anymore.

I kind of feel like having a baby was a car accident in our marriage. That sounds weird, but stay with me. Once the dust settled a bit after Roo was born, I was left pondering, Who am I now that I’m a mom? How does being a mom change who I am as a wife and a woman? Needless to say, having a baby really changed the dynamic in our house, and we have a lot less time now to spend on ourselves and our marriage.

We love having Rooney in our lives, but we are still trying to figure out how to make it all work. How to make sure we don’t lose focus of our marriage. I suppose we can’t avoid some of it, but we want to be make it a priority as much as possible.

So after having a baby, and then occasionally (about once a month) getting back into dating my husband, I am relearning what I love about him and what our love is based on. I am flirting with him how I used to flirt with him before we were married. When we get out just the two of us (thanks mostly to grandma!), we are playful and fun and spontaneous. Almost giddy! We haven’t been that way in years! Dates had become so…routine? Expected?

It’s really cool to have this blossoming love again. It’s been a slow process as we re-date each other, just as it would be if you lost your memory and had to start completely over. Not as dramatic, but still. We do a lot of reminiscing now of the past: how he used to walk me to class in college, how we used to try new restaurants and go mini-golfing and I’d always beat him, all the fun things we did on our honeymoon, etc. Those days are still so special to us, and just thinking about them stirs up wonderful feelings.

But we are in a different season now. And it is good. It has made us really cherish the moments we are together, just the two of us.

Does this make sense to anyone? Too deep for a Friday? I was explaining it to Eric and he said I needed to blog it. So there you go! Have an awesome weekend.



I love my husband, my kids and the Internet.

  1. This is so helpful to me as we prepare for our son to arrive in December. I can’t really wrap my mind around how it’s going to change everything. I just know it will.

  2. Thanks for being so open and honest. We haven’t started our family yet, but we’ve had many conversations about how it will change things. Glad to hear you’re finding the little joys that come along with those changes!
    I’ve never used Project Free TV… seems too good to be true?! :)

    • i’ve never used it either – and i don’t really know much about it BUT i just got a message from someone saying that it is now illegal and can contain viruses. i’m going to remove the link in this post! so, proceed with caution…

  3. we are having a baby in november and i have been thinking about how it will change the relationship between me and my husband.

    To be honest sometimes the thought of it changing scares me but it is good to know that the magic doesn’t disappear :)

  4. I had my daughter before I met my now boyfriend so we never got that alone time for us to bond and grow and fall in love. We fell in love anyway :) but it is really hard to find time to be together and not just fall into the routine of family and get no adult time. It’s a struggle for us but we’re constantly working on it :)

  5. That’s a really interesting (and awesome) way to interpret that movie. This is a good reminder that we shouldn’t take what we have for granted and to keep putting in the time and effort to be in love (sounds weird when you type it out…). I will say one thing that bummed me out about the movie (but I still like it) is that *KINDA SPOILER* the real-life couple chose to stay together because they honored the vows that they made, and through that they worked at dating and falling in love again. The movie de-emphasizes the commitment just a bit and there’s a subtle message that if you’re “meant” to be together it’s inevitable. I wish Hollywood would have championed the commitment part a little more!

  6. This does make sense and gives hope too. I can’t wait to have children but do sometimes wonder if it means that, especially at the start, we have to somehow put our relationship on hold to concentrate on a baby. It’s nice to hear about the potential giddiness it also might bring! Thanks for sharing – I really enjoyed reading this post.

  7. love this post girl!! yes, it’s important to find ways to reconnect with your husband after having a baby! we are doing date night tonight!

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