The Truth About Us

I think a big misconception when people hear we have a marriage blog is that we think marriage is a piece of cake. I wish!

The truth is: As of the writing of this post, we've actually been arguing more since we started this blog than we did before.

I brought this up to Eric the other day, because I wanted to know why.

Is it because this blog takes up much of our energy on a nightly basis and gives us one more thing we're mutually responsible for and have to communicate effectively about?

Is it because this blog has made me realize how differently we work on projects?

I wasn't sure.

Then I read yesterday's post by Michael Hyatt. It's about dealing with a poor leader, but I can totally relate to this paragraph:

When you read a lot of books and blogs about leadership, it is easy to become idealistic. If you are not careful, you can create a set of expectations that no one could possibly meet. You have to remember your boss is human—and fallen at that. He struggles with his own fears, wounds, and weaknesses. He has his own accountabilities and pressure. He will experience good days and bad.

That totally makes sense. When I read (or write) blogs about marriage, I become idealistic rather than realistic. If Eric writes a post about fighting fair, my expectations of him are that he will now fight fair. When we write week after week about how to stay married, how to be happy in your marriage, how to make things smoother in your marriage--I (unrealistically) expect that everything will get a lot easier.

I forget that change happens slowly, that Eric is human and will make mistakes. And that most times I am too selfish to treat Eric as I should.

I wanted to share this, in case you are dealing with this as well after reading our posts.

Please know that we don't have it all together.

Going forward, I'm hoping to get frustrated less. And to forgive more.

Eric, sometimes I forget that you're the curly haired kid I fell in love with in college. The one I love so much and was so excited to marry, even though living together brings on a set of new challenges and makes it so easy to take you for granted. Love.